Down in Front!
by jremme
Summary: Zach and Hodgins go to a movie, and Zach runs afoul of another patron. Zach and normal activities just do not mix! Another little Zach/Jack fic.


**A/N: Here's a small Zach/Jack piece to further help me get back in the writing saddle. I don't feel up to posting anything real long yet. If it's a bit rusty, ignore it, cause I haven't written in months. Enjoy!**

**Down in Front!**

"C'mon Zach, it's just a movie, it won't kill you!"

"It might. I have never felt that movie theaters contained a sufficient amount of fire exits. If something were to occur the odds of my not getting out of the building or being trampled in the process are…"

"Stop. Just stop. There are plenty of exits. Nothing's going to happen."

"Very well. I place my life in your hands…again. What film have you selected for us to see?"

"Can I at least come in first?" Jack Hodgins jiggled the locked door of Zach's living space for emphasis, shaking his head as the lock clicked. He stepped over the threshold. "Get ready cause I'm about to blow your mind. We are going to see…" he paused dramatically for effect. "Star Trek!"

"The new one?" came the uncertain reply.

Not quite the reaction he'd been hoping for. "Uh, yea Zach." Getting pumped up again quickly, he added, "Now let's go get our geek on!" That said, he grabbed Zach's sleeve and began to tug.

"I'm uncomfortable in movie theaters!"

"Too bad. I'm not missing this, and I'm not going alone. Angela says she won't touch this movie with a 10 foot pole, Booth pretended not to know what I was talking about, and Brennan's out of the country. That leaves you. Now _come._ _On._" He gave a sharp tug, sending Zach off balance.

Straightening himself up and brushing imaginary dust from his sleeve, Zach gave in. "Fine, but in addition to my ticket, you will buy me a small soda and a box of Milk Duds."

"Deal."

"We can leave in a few minutes. I have to get something."

"Whatever. Just hurry."

When Zach reappeared, Hodgins groaned. "You are not going to wear those."

"I already am. You're too late."

"Where did you even get those?"

"My brothers and I purchased them several years ago for a convention."

"_You've_ been to a Star Trek convention?!"

"Yes, I went with my brothers, who are fans, and had a reasonably good time. They explained to me that I could not go without some sort of costume. Hence the ears." He gestured to the pointed ears he was now sporting. "Considering we are going to a Star Trek movie, I felt they were appropriate."

"Great. Just come on. I want good seats."

Once tickets were purchased and the clerk's snicker when she saw Zach was ignored, they found themselves in a long line at the concession stand.

"Are you sure you need candy and soda?" Hodgins asked.

"That was part of our bargain."

"Which became null and void the second you put on those ears."

"I don't recall such a clause making its way into the deal."

"Consider it my prerogative." He turned and shoved money into Zach's hands. "Here. I'm getting us some seats. Get me a large popcorn and soda."

When Zach came stumbling down the aisle, juggling various snacks in his arms, he noticed Hodgins waving from the front row, right in the middle. Trying to scoot past other people in the row while trying not to spill anything was quite a feat. One Zach just wasn't up to. Several people were sprinkled with popcorn kernels before Zach slumped with relief in his seat and Hodgins relieved him of the popcorn and large soda. "Thanks Z-man. What do you think of these seats?"

"I think I may experience an unpleasant crick in my neck before the movie's over."

"Small price to pay. Quit being such a wuss and enjoy."

After a half an hour or so of commercials and previews the movie finally started.

"Hodgins?"

"What? It's starting."

"I see that. Why do they have commercials before the movie? It reminds me of television. Will they be interrupting the movie for more commercials?"

"How long has it been since you've seen a movie?"

"Serenity. 2005."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I prefer to wait for DVD releases. As I've said I do not care for movie theaters."

"Ok. Fine. Shut up."

"What's happening?"

The people next to Zach turned and shhhed him.

"I asked a legitimate question."

"Stop talking and you'd know what's going on; now can it or _I'm_ not gonna know what's going on!"

Hodgins was then shhhed by the people on the other side of him.

"But who's that?"

"SHHH!"

"I apologize."

"Don't apologize. Just be quiet." Maybe going by himself would have been a better idea.

Halfway through the movie, Hodgins was completely engrossed. Zach, on the other hand, had questions.

"Why are they doing that? Wouldn't it have been much simpler to…"

"Shut up!" The person behind Zach hissed.

"But it makes no sense. If a being is supposed to be totally logical, then why…"

"That's it!" The irate man behind Zach got up and marched down his row, ignoring the cries of protest from the people whose view he was blocking. From there, he made his way up the aisle.

"Great Zach. You're gonna get us kicked out, thereby forcing me to commit a crime by pirating this movie! What is your problem?"

"I told you I dislike movie theaters! I cannot voice my opinions or valid questions here. Plus," he gestured to the neon exit signs, "not nearly enough exits. As I stated before we left."

The man behind Zach returned with an usher, who shone a flashlight on Zach. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the theater."

"Please shine that light away from my eyes," Zach said, standing up straight. His silhouette appeared on the bottom of the screen, pointy ears and all, eliciting a collective groan from the crowd, including Hodgins.

"Come with me sir."

"Hodgins?" Zach turned to him.

"Oh, no. I'm not leaving if I don't have to. You're on your own." He handed Zach his car keys.

After the movie, Hodgins went outside to find Zach sitting in his car, the engine running.

"Do I still have gas in the tank?" he asked.

"Enough to get us home I believe. What kind of mileage does this car get?"

"We'll stop and get some more." Hodgins slid behind the wheel. "Sorry you got kicked out. And sorry I didn't stick with you."

"It's all right. I knew how much you wanted to see the movie. How was it?"

"Totally worth the humiliation of bringing a guy in pointy ears, the cost of the Milk Duds and popcorn, and the gas you used up! In fact, we might have to go again, just at another theater."

"I think I'd like that. I was unable to see the remainder of the film, which has piqued my natural curiosity somewhat."

"Cool, then we're on for tomorrow night?"

Zach nodded.

"Good, now if I can only convince Angela…"

**A/N: Hope you liked it. Just a fun little piece because I think I could see Zach getting kicked out of a theater. Thanks for reading!**


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